Is civil marriage from God?

Very often young people meet with a question if civil (not registered by law and in church) marriage is marriage before God in order not to break one of the 10 commandments - Adultery.

I write this sermon because I received a letter from Russian girl who lives with her civil husband. She read on our web-cite that unregistered civil marriage is a sin. There are a lot of such conscience-stricken people in the world and they try to find a way. Let God bless everyone who reads this sermon that everyone can find a way out of this situation through extracts from Bible given below, because only God can give a way out of problem through the Holy Writ and Jesus Christ. The aim of the Holy Writ is to lead a man to Jesus Christ, and only Jesus Christ can take off damnations with Calvary cross.

I had the same problem in my life. Before taking Jesus Christ into my heart, I had fornication and adultery in my life. Then conscience started to harass me and I made a decision to live with a girl as in civil marriage and then to marry her. And a few times I had civil marriage not even thinking that I was living in fornication and adultery. Finally I decided to marry one of these girls. What happened further you can read in my testimony.

Satan tries to present fornication and adultery in very beautiful cover that is called as civil marriage. Young people say that they love each other and want to justify the sin of fornication and adultery. Our loving each other grandmothers and grandfathers did not live in civil marriage but went to the church to get married.

I was born in 1962. For my generation if a woman was in civil marriage she was considered to be as fornicate and she felt shame.

Was my civil marriage, as many others, before God? Did I break one of the 10 commandments? Did I break the 7^th commandment – Thou shall not commit adultery?

In order to receive an answer let’s study following:

1.     What is the 7^th commandment – thou shall not commit adultery?

2.     What sexual sins can be?

3.     What marriage is good for God?

4.     Responsibility to God for fornication and adultery.

First let’s read following fragments of the Holy Writ.

Exodus (20:14): “You shall not commit adultery.”

Leviticus (20: 10-23):

 "If a man commits adultery with the wife of his neighbor, both the adulterer and the adulteress shall be put to death.
The man who lies with his father's wife has uncovered his father's nakedness; both of them shall be put to death, their blood is upon them.
If a man lies with his daughter-in-law, both of them shall be put to death; they have committed incest, their blood is upon them.
If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall be put to death, their blood is upon them.
If a man takes a wife and her mother also, it is wickedness; they shall be burned with fire, both he and they, that there may be no wickedness among you.
If a man lies with a beast, he shall be put to death; and you shall kill the beast.
If a woman approaches any beast and lies with it, you shall kill the woman and the beast; they shall be put to death, their blood is upon them.
If a man takes his sister, a daughter of his father or a daughter of his mother, and sees her nakedness, and she sees his nakedness, it is a shameful thing, and they shall be cut off in the sight of the children of their people; he has uncovered his sister's nakedness, he shall bear his iniquity.
If a man lies with a woman having her sickness, and uncovers her nakedness, he has made naked her fountain, and she has uncovered the fountain of her blood; both of them shall be cut off from among their people.
You shall not uncover the nakedness of your mother's sister or of your father's sister, for that is to make naked one's near kin; they shall bear their iniquity.
If a man lies with his uncle's wife, he has uncovered his uncle's nakedness; they shall bear their sin, they shall die childless.
If a man takes his brother's wife, it is impurity; he has uncovered his brother's nakedness, they shall be childless.
You shall therefore keep all my statutes and all my ordinances, and do them; that the land where I am bringing you to dwell may not vomit you out.”

Matthew ( 5: 27-28, 32):

“You have heard that it was said, `You shall not commit adultery.'
But I say to you that every one who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

But I say to you that every one who divorces his wife, except on the ground of unchastity, makes her an adulteress; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”

Matthew ( 19 : 7-9):

“They said to him, "Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?
He said to them, "For your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.
And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for unchastity, and marries another, commits adultery."

1 Corinthians (7:10-11):

“To the married I give charge, not I but the Lord, that the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, let her remain single or else be reconciled to her husband) -- and that the husband should not divorce his wife.”

Hebrews (13:4):

“Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled; for God will judge the immoral and adulterous.”

I think that Bible in fragments above gives us full presentation regarding sexual sins. Any extramarital relationships are sins and it does not matter if you commit adultery with married woman or single.

Adultery is an extramarital relationship if one of partners is married man or woman.  Bible also considers marriage as adultery if one of persons is divorced.

Fornication is sexual extramarital relationships between unmarried persons.

Before Revolution in 1917 marriage must be registered in church. Then Satan through people transferred this function from church to registry office, and now marriage is registered in registry office.

In Russian marriage is «брак». In Russian Брак also means defect. That’s why I don’t like the word “брак”. In Ukraine, when people are going to create a family, they usually said: «вступають в шлюб».

I suggest all people who have extramarital relationships to correct this situation in order not to break the 7^th commandment.

That young woman wrote me that she lived 3 years with her man. Then I answered that she could live 3 years with one man then 3 years with another and she always could justify with civil marriage. If you have such situation you must know that it is not шлюб from God but it is real брак (defect) of your life and a sin before God.

Bible says that a person can marry only once.

Just married young people, who did not have extramarital relationships, have honey-moon and they can enjoy themselves that is not prohibited for family by God.

I have also very difficult situation. When very big problems appeared in my life, my wife left me. As I believe in God I did not go to court to divorce, because it is not allowed to divorce in Bible. My wife divorced with me without my presence because we did not have children because of my state of health. Then she married and gave a birth to child in a new family. From January 2003 I have been living alone. I could not create a new family when my former wife was unmarried, in such cases Bible does not allow to marry. So I was waiting, Bible requires I wait for her for 5 years.

I was often asked if I could excuse her in case she would decide to return to me, having lived with other man. I answered that I came to believe in Jesus Christ. If Jesus Christ forgave me all my sins, then I should forgive her. But she will never come back to me. She has a happy marriage (as for people who don’t believe in God), a child and she lives in Prague. A child must have a father and she would never come back to me. I picked up stones that I sowed.

I don’t blame my former wife. No. I am praying for her, her child and her husband that they come to believe in God.

The question is what I should do being guided by Bible.

As Apostle Paul says in 1 Corinthians: it’s better to stay alone and serve to God.

Another variant, as adopted in some Evangelical churches, - if my wife left me and married another, then I am free. My brothers refer to Mathew (18:18):

“Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.”

In Old Testament Deuteronomy (24:4):

“Then her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after she has been defiled; for that is an abomination before the LORD, and you shall not bring guilt upon the land which the LORD your God gives you for an inheritance.”

I could listen to this extract of Bible but Jesus Christ brought laws of love which are more severe than Old Testament has. In 1 Corinthians (13:4-8) we can see what real love of Christian must be:

“Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful;
it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;
it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends; as for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.”

As Jesus Christ showed His sacrificial love on Calvary, He wants to see the same from their children. If sacrificial love lives in families, then divorces don’t exist at all. But sin does not allow living according to the laws of love. Today about 50% of families are broken because people live in sin and don’t want to have sacrificial love to each other. Satan uses this situation, and very often young people and their parents advise to have unregistered marriage some time. In such way parents push their children to break the 7^th commandment – not to commit adultery.

If divorces happen with registered marriages, they happen with unregistered much more often. After unregistered marriage is broken, you could lie to yourself that you didn’t have marriage at all. But very few people know that after the first sexual partner you have sexual relations with another one, and then happens blood poisoning. That’s why so many children with diseases are born.

Do you want to have diseased children? Or you want to have healthy children? Health of your children depends on you and if you have sexual relations before marriage.

When I was writing this sermon, church deacon Viacheslav gave such example in his sermon from his conversation with schoolgirl who did not believe in God. He told her that if she had sexual relations before marriage, there would not be guarantee that her boyfriend having married her would not be unfaithful with her, he depraved his body, and satan will push him for new sins. After this girl hanged her head because anyone wants unfaithfulness. Men being unfaithful think that they are the cleverest, and they are sure that their wives can not be unfaithful. But are they sure in it? Bible says: “for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.”

If you sow unfaithfulness in your family, then you will reap unfaithfulness of your wife and diseases of you body and damnations for posterity. Such is real spiritual world. But I am sure that everyone knows it but makes a view that families are strong. Results of sins may be seen sooner or later. For example, Premier Minister of France tried to hide the fact of extramarital relationship with photo-model during election campaign, after elections he did not hide it. Bill Clinton and White House tried to hide his relations with Monica Lewinski. In any case, everything may be discovered.

When David committed adultery, then one son died, another son slept with his concubine, then one of his sons violated his daughter.

Is it not enough examples from Bible? Or are we better for God than King David that we can avoid punishment?

Once in somebody’s sermon I heard such example: if I can steal a pen at work, why president can not steal 1 million.

What should you do in my place, my dear friend? You can write me you opinion based on Bible. I still don’t know what to do: to live alone or to marry.

Today our world looks like Sodom and Gomorra where everyone breaks commandment not to commit adultery and has been married more than once. In some countries unisexual marriage is allowed and moreover they are allowed to bring up children. Mothers are married with sons, people have sexual sins with animals… there are so many abominations before God. And in spite of this, people make a view that everything is all right in society. No, it is not all right. Sexual depravity leads to death of this world. If it continues in such paces, then new incurable illness will appear more and more.

We can read in Bible that for sins of Sodom and Gomorra God burnt this earth with brimstone and fire. So this earth may be destroyed for all sins of mankind.

Peter (3: 7-14):

“But by the same word the heavens and earth that now exist have been stored up for fire, being kept until the day of judgment and destruction of ungodly men.
But do not ignore this one fact, beloved, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.

The Lord is not slow about his promise as some count slowness, but is forbearing toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.
But the day of the Lord will come like a thief, and then the heavens will pass away with a loud noise, and the elements will be dissolved with fire, and the earth and the works that are upon it will be burned up.
Since all these things are thus to be dissolved, what sort of persons ought you to be in lives of holiness and godliness,

waiting for and hastening the coming of the day of God, because of which the heavens will be kindled and dissolved, and the elements will melt with fire!
But according to his promise we wait for new heavens and a new earth in which righteousness dwells.
Therefore, beloved, since you wait for these, be zealous to be found by him without spot or blemish, and at peace.”

You may think: while punishment occurs, it will not concern me for a long time. Just God knows when He sent Jesus Christ on this earth to judge it and people living on it. As we read in Hebrews 13: “God will judge the immoral and adulterous». It does not matter whether Jesus come on this earth to judge during our life or mot. In any case we will appear before Him.

I am sure that people committing adultery don’t live for a long time. I had a friend (he died) who had children with 3 women. Now these children are orphans.

Young woman, whose letter gave me idea to write this sermon, writes me that she is in poor health. Her health was broken because of sins, when she has broken and continues to break the commandment not to commit adultery. Is it not God’s judgment? A lot of sick children are born – is it not God’s judgment?

Why don’t priests explain in churches that for breaking of 1 from the 10 commandments damnation comes up to 3-4 generation? The largest church in former Soviet Union -Moscow Patriarchy Orthodox Church- has to preach about damnations for sins instead of damning of other confessions. Look at the health of your nation and compare it with the health of our grandfathers– is it not God’s judgment? Mass media is full of information about new viruses and new incurable illnesses – is it not God’s judgment?

I talked with a doctor who believes in God, he is engaged in urology and gynecology. He explained me that God created a person in such way – if a person breaks the commandment not to commit adultery then blood is infected and new diseases appears. This information is confirmed by such deceases as AIDS, HID.

You may not notice all this and make a view that everything in our life is all right.

I want to appeal to young women and men who want to create their families. Happiness of your future family life and your children’s health depends on you, on life you had before, whether you have sin of adultery.

What should those do who has civil marriage or married with divorced person who has children?

The answer is simple.

1.     You need to repent. Prayer of confession you can read http://www.titanium-fiko.com/pages/e_page_O.htm

If you are not ready to repent with you heart, at first you may do it with your body.

2.     Not to sin. Only The Holy Spirit can give forces not to sin. The Holy Spirit comes to your heart after sincere repentance.

3.     In order to receive sincere repentance from God, you shall search for God and try to know Him. Listen to the Gospel on discs, because at the beginning it may be not clear for you.

4.     Find in your city Evangelical church. On Sundays visit it to listen to sermons.

As written in Romans (10:17): “So the faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.” Through sermons you will learn God and search for Him. If you search for God and try to approach Him, God will give you sincere repentance by heart. Then The Holy Spirit will come to you heart to give you forces not to sin. If you ask me what confession to choose, I suggest you to choose Evangelical Pentecost church because this church recognizes baptizing with The Holy Spirit. According to The Acts (1:8): “But you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Sama'ria and to the end of the earth."

What does it mean to be witnesses on this earth? It means that if I took Jesus Christ into my heart, I should follow the 10 commandments and other commandments of Bible that is to be witnesses that I keep them. Only the Holy Spirit can give power to execute the 10 commandments.

If you can not find a Pentecostal church, you may visit a Baptist Church or the prayer house. Study the word of God; pray for God send you faithful people who could explain you the word of God. If there is Orthodox Church near your place where the word of God is studied you can visit it.

You must know that your sins can not be justified. Sins can be washed away by Sacred Blood of Jesus Christ, and damnation are taken off by Calvary as written in Bible.

Galatians (3:10-14):

“For all who rely on works of the law are under a curse; for it is written, "Cursed be every one who does not abide by all things written in the book of the law, and do them."

 Now it is evident that no man is justified before God by the law; for "He who through faith is righteous shall live";

but the law does not rest on faith, for "He who does them shall live by them."

Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law, having become a curse for us -- for it is written, "Cursed be every one who hangs on a tree" --
that in Christ Jesus the blessing of Abraham might come upon the Gentiles, that we might receive the promise of the Spirit through faith.”

I wish you to be reconciled with God through His Son Jesus Christ to order to have His blessing of you and you family.

Viktor Fedorov